Anxiety Quotient

Is there a thing like anxiety quotient? The doctors informed me yesterday that there is a problem with the machine they use while cutting people open. Apparently the machine being tired of cutting too many people and doctors getting all the credit, decided to call it a day. The engineers are working on it. If they can fix it by the time my surgeon is ready, they might have to cut me open. Otherwise it is another day of anxiety and discussions of pain. The good part is the view from the room and 86 channels of cable TV. Life is never so good. Room service is quick and good. So far I am on fasting(in the anticipation of operation) but they regretted the inconvenience and allowed for late breakfast in case operation does not take place.
I keep pondering over the cancer types and what would have happened if I ignored it long enough. Neuroendocrine cancers do not show the symptoms. In fact I would have never known about it for rest of my life (however short that could have been). The knowledge I have cancer is very...let us say, unsettling. It makes one very anxious. It leads you to the path of writing a will (& spending some money on your lawyer friend so he can take his family out for dinner), false impressions that you might die soon and allows for freak ideas such as brazilian bikini wax. If I live long enough to remember these things, I am sure to have some fun with it. In the process however, my anxiety is going up. I am worried that this anxiety would kill me earlier than cancer. Now I really know what chicken in poultry farm feel like. They never know when they would become chicken biryani, for example. One day happy life of clicking and chucking genetically modified food and another day being served
up with onions and tomatoe gravy. It is very insecure state of affairs. Also when you are in hospital doing particularly nothing and watching seedy movies, the thoughts about when this is going to end are very profound. Every time they tell you about dooms of operation, one gets more anxious about the operation. How it would be painful, what would be after life(i mean after operation.. Not after after) and whether you would be able to get a date with Aishwarya Rai just under the heading of humanitarian cause. My anxiety quotient is going way up. I remember the movie, Holy Grail, where even God wants Sir Lancelot/Zoot to 'get on with it' in castle Anthrax.
Well doctor, don’t wait any longer, can we get on with it?