Dealing with Death

No matter how many reruns of Lion King you have seen or have really understood the "circle of life", it is always difficult to deal with death when it actually happens. I am particularly intrigued by the fact that even when death happens all around us, we as human beings, never seem to really get handle on reactions. I, for one, don't know how to console people who are trying to come terms with death of someone close or facing it themselves. Consoling oneself about inevitability of death does not really help. You still feel the pain, agony and despair. It is the feeling of loss or "this-is-it" moment that is really difficult to get over. I thought I would get used to it, but even today, when I check the results of my medical tests, the heart stops for a moment or two.

The fact that life (yours or somebody else's) as you know would not be around tonight, tomorrow morning or perhaps forever is very unnerving thought. While it does provide a perspective on corporate deadlines, ".. I want this ready by tomorrow morning!!" (yeah right!), it does not really help in coming to the terms with death. But on the other hand brooding over it does not help either. Then the world would be very gloomy place, everybody constantly worrying about impending doom (and of course deadlines would have no meaning).

Either due to my naivety or "getting-used-to" syndrome, I have a tendency to ignore the pain. As a cancer patient I have been programmed to think positive. I can not keep long face for very long time. The flip side of this is, I can not identify with the agony others go through while coming to the terms with death, neither can I console others. It is difficult situation indeed, I know what it feels like, but can not really tell others what they should do. In many situations I ask them to remember the happy things in their lives. It sounds sappy and even offensive, but it has worked for me many times. Remembering happy things, the smiles, the joys in your life make life worth living and gives you energy to look beyond the obvious inevitability of death. I think the best way to deal with death is focusing more on life. I focus my energy on living everyday, possibly that helps me to stay put for so many years, beating some not-so-obvious medical predictions about my life!

I really don't know how to deal with death or it's after effects, but I guess I know how to deal with life.