Spirituality Beacons

Spirituality has now become a lucrative business. Any person with some profound thoughts about life of human beings could record his/her messages and distribute using electronic media and voila! you are the next guru. For a week I worked at a rather distant office and was required to spend 1.5hrs of "awakening" in commute. I listened to the recorded messages of one such self proclaimed guru and his anecdotes about life in general.  I listened to "lion and elephant" fable. I heard about duality and how it is preventing me from cleansing my soul. I was introduced to new yoga that I must include as part of my daily life. I heard about how sex is a form of recognizing the duality in human species. I also heard about how to do "inner management", which apparently is different than "external management" that we pretend to do in our daily lives. 

All this was a new knowledge to me. I thought spirituality is something that you do when you retire (or live long enough to retire) Or are old enough when ogling at Internet porn is too much of effort. I clearly had no idea about so called duality in human nature. The only duality I knew was the one in mathematics and that too not well as my grades proved (rather consistently!). 

I did not know that my soul was trying hard to break free from daily stress that I put up with and requires a full-time guru and set of yoga positions to manage. Boy this spirituality is a serious business - if you decide to follow it. 

Among other things I realized I have too much stress in my life. For example, fights at work place, world peace, terrorism and my wife (not related, two different stresses, just so that there is no confusion!). I also realized that I must do several meditations and advanced programs in certain type of yoga to keep my soul cleansed from all this stresses. The sheer thought of doing something of this magnitude caused my stress levels to go up. I had to calm myself and engage in a deep thought of starting this journey. Red wine, consumed in enough quantities also facilitated the thought process. 

I think cleansing my soul is a right thing to do, I might just change the yoga positions with enough quantities of red wine. There is evidence in Hindu mythology of using alcohol to support the process. 

Hence fourth, I will be a changed man. I will no longer look upon female of the species as sex objects. I will instead search for the duality within them - even at the cost of spending more time with them. I will not hate morons, instead I will recognize that their souls are not cleansed enough - I will encourage them to do so, at a times at cost of my wine.  I will not blame others for my problems, instead will strive for inner management (and perhaps become problem for others!).  Spirituality beacons and here I come...

Year of Blogging

OK I took long time off from blogging. Several people pointed out that the articles are not posted for almost 5 months now. Some people got little worried about my health etc. - and I heard some people also celebrated, of course they did not know their happiness was short lived. A new year has started and here I am, back with my bad English and opinions on everything that is happening on the small planet of Earth. I am going to take blogging seriously now. I recently came across Christian Lander's Blog about white people which got published in book. Blogging is probably better career option and mechanism to change people on this planet. I wish I could meet some beautiful girls this way - wishful thinking, but again everything is possible in this modern world. It has not happened after so many years of blogging, but that is not to say it will not happen..

This year I am planning not to travel too much. I am hoping that most of my frequent flyer miles and hotel stays will carry me through this year. After all if you earn them better use them. Another resolution I made this year is to focus on my health (!). I have joined a gym. I am planning to spend enormous amount of money on my "training", just to hide my guilt of not doing regular exercise and not following the diet. I guess at the end of this year I will have good knowledge about why my current weight is the best weight at this age.

Although not all my goals for this year are unachievable, I also have some that I think I will achieve. For example, I have planned to be more emotionally intelligent this year. According to my niece - a part time psychologist and part time Spanish instructor ( a career combination only psychologists can justify!), it is very easy to have emotional intelligence - have empathy for other people. I am developing this skill.
For example, I no longer smile when my wife starts crying watching a mushy movie - instead I empathize with her about the bad movie! I no longer get upset about my son watching violent cartoon on TV, I watch it with him - again I empathize. Given this track record, I think I will be able to make it this year.
I also plan to drink better coffee than last year - a coffee shop at work helps!
I will keep sharing how it goes through my blogs - and yes I will be more prolific than before, at least expect one post a month.
People can remember 2009 as a year of change in the world, some people argue it is year of economical downturn, while others keep trudging along; for me this is year of blogging. A goal set and achieved!

Programmed Life

In Hindu religion the life is assumed to be governed by the God. Anything that happens to you is supposed to be written fate by the God. This could be dangerous affair. I mean if there is one God then you are at mercy of his/her whim - on the other hand if you have millions of Gods (like Hindu mythology leads us to believe) then life is like Open Source program with community of geeks committing to the source!
You are never sure if what is happening to you is by design or some bug in the programming.

For example, people you met in your school days or college days, who you never want to see again, meet you at some chance encounter. Is this by design ("it is meant to be") or just a programming mistake ("coincidence")? I am never sure.

In my college days I had crush on several girls. But I never wanted to meet them after the college was over. I did not keep in touch with any of them, I even avoided the college reunions, in the fear that I might meet with some oversize girl that I thought was goddess in the college days - shattering images in my mind. It would be a great disappointment to meet the erstwhile "Miss Chamko" of size zero now with size ninety four, five children and an apologetic husband. I am sure the girls are thinking same thing or maybe not, they do turn up for reunions in hoards - I am told.

But more importantly are we supposed to meet the people from the past that you thought would get lost somewhere in this wide world? I always thought that people you meet in one part of life should not be entering in other part of your life. The remote acquaintances of childhood are not supposed to be coming back and meeting you in the young age or even worse when you are old.
If you meet the classmate you had crush on, later in the life, then the whole fabric gets disturbed. You are thinking of parallel universes and what would have happened kind of things, it all is very overwhelming. The entire model of human mind is programmed to believe in other program called life. If there is a problem in that program rest of the programs do malfunction or go in a repetitive loop.

I thought that was always the programming of the life - if there is one! You pass the people, places and things on time dimension and you are done. Except some obnoxious remotely related uncle or aunt from yesteryear telling you how you were soling your pants in childhood, the people from past should disappear somewhere else. After all the world is wide enough place.

The events that we generally think are disruptive, fateful, agonizing are either programmed or semantic mistakes during programming. As Master Oogway said, "There are no accidents", ....in the programmed life.

Live with Hope

Another day, my friend exhorted me to have hope. People always tell me to have hope, as if it is important for cancer patients to be hopeful. I told my friend that these are merely false hopes, but she was persistent. I wonder how false hopes of your longevity can help you living better life now. We hope for better salary, better life style, better partners, more happiness, etc. It becomes like a 'Mission' statement in consulting-speak (for the uninitiated: Mission is something you strive for!), something that you strive for but never achieve.
Hope is of little help when there is certainty about death or birth for that matter. It is a disillusion.

Humans are funny animals, we like to believe in things, we think we can actually change the arrangement of world and can predict what can happen in future. Unfortunately it is all a big illusion. Illusion that qualifies as a life style, we hope one day things would be better and in that hope we make our present miserable.

I argue in the favor of pessimism and think that hope is a useless feeling that perpetuates illusion. I have several proof points, I hoped to marry with Aishwarya Rai, never materialized. I hoped to have extramarital affair with Kareena Kapoor, she did not even come and meet me. At one point of time, I even hoped to be the richest man in the world. I can go on, all this proves the point that "hoping" is not really good for you. You can hope for good life all your life and not have any!

Ignoring hope, I trust the "be happy in the moment" life style. It is easier to achieve and heck, lot less to think about. Don't hope, be happy, would be my life style statement. It takes away the disillusion of future, it helps you to see life in a perspective. It lets you appreciate what a miracle life is. It makes you realize that your existence is very fragile, temporary and precious and perhaps needs more attention now than hoping for a future state that, as a matter of fact, will not arrive.

My friend argued that you could never live without hope. In some sense I agree. There is always a hope that Aishwarya may not get along well with Abhishek...

Singular Life

I have some friends who are committed monogamous. I always find it interesting, how somebody can live without having routine "bedtime" that comes parceled with marriage.
When you are single, you miss two important things that come with committed partnership, free sex with same partner and frustration that comes with it :-)

But before people start writing me about my rather 'liberal' views of single life, let me concede that there are several advantages(!) of marriage too, notably, the overbearing in-laws, demanding children, regular need to cook breakfast and food for 'family', and joint accounts which your other half regularly empties, taking your partner's car to servicing and so on.

It is always a struggle of have's and have-not's between married and single people. Married people desire what single people have (i.e. better sex life) and single people always want what they think married people have (i.e. free sex). I remember an old joke when my doctor, during the cancer treatment asked me about my sex life, and I said I am married, I don't have one!

Both have pros and cons of course, but I believe Single people have most fun in their lives. They can date whoever they like, they can go around the world and not worry about 'people waiting at home', they can spend their own money and not worry about somebody else overdrawing their accounts, and best of all they can overcook their own food. Married people on the other hand are butt of all jokes and are always at receiving end.
Married people age faster (I recently was called "Uncle"), worry about their future since the children invariably dump them and are constantly reminded of their bad physique.

I have not seen any single people in my acquaintance, ever aging. They are always young and athletic, whereas married people I know (men and women) are always pot belied or oversize. I am sure there is evolutionary reason for single people to remain attractive, but all said, who wouldn't want to remain handsome till the very end? You marry you loose the focus!

Single life has other advantages too (well less significant than the sex part but important for consideration), e.g. freedom of expression, in married life if you are man you get yelled at for not having social skills, if you are women you are looked down for your choice of mushy movies. When you are single you can do both, burp openly while watching a mushy movie.

Some of my single friends rue that they do not have their own family or they are lonely, obviously they don't know how lonely it becomes for a married person every single moment!
At a times it is nice to have somebody around to fuss about, but by and large "having family" is an overrated myth. Having family simply means bigger expense account. People could write books about 'Marriage Rocks', clearly they don't know what it means to be single!

I envy my single friends, they have all the fun in their lives, it is quite a Singular life they lead while we Plurals watch from sideways!

No Loyalty

Many times people ask you trivial questions as part of social interaction, i.e. "who is your favorite star?" or "who is your favorite author" and so on. I could never answer it. I simply don't get it. I have NO favorite actor or author that I would die for.

As part of my world cruising duties I stumble upon several so called "deities" of the modern world. My wife really envies me for that (at least one thing that keeps her awake :-)). In the lounges, I get to see Sharmila Tagore, Rahul Bose, Shahid Kapoor and likes up close. Being illiterate about film stars in India, I don't necessarily know them but given the flutter they cause in otherwise boring airport lounges, it is easy to spot that there is something 'special' (in non-sexual manner !) about them. I then generally ask the attendant or the stewardess about these 'people', and they exclaim "Oh don't you know? He is XXXX !" - insulting my general knowledge and pitying me at the same time. In all circumstances, I never felt that I should go and disturb their privacy and ask for a photograph or a signature. I liked the movie, "Pyar Ke Side Effects", I also liked Rahul Bose's work in it, but that does not mean I am a great fan and would die for his autograph.

My wife gets all excited, "You saw Bipasha Basu, and couldn't even take her autograph? What's wrong with you?"
All I could tell her was, in real life she does not appear that sexy, and not my type really!

It is very difficult for me to be a loyal fan of somebody or some concept. Having strong conviction about something is quite different than being loyal fan of something. I read so many books, but haven't found the author that I would love most. Many times I meet the authors, but none give me goose bumps. This happens all around, living in India, I am still not a fan of any special cricketer, not follower of any politician, no actor that I would like to identify with and no buxom babe that I would want to watch again and again.

I wonder why that happens, is it natural for learned men or it is simply a "trust and loyalty" problem that I have? Perhaps it is both.

I sure hope my wife does not read this blog, not being loyal might give her some ideas too !

Packed Bags

My Stupid little life
Is all I have to show.
Where is the road of reward
That was meant to be?

Yet why should I weep?
The Gifts of eyes and ears-
Are mine, unto me,
To seize Creation with.

In a world full of music,
I really can't say
That God sent me down
With my bag unpacked.

- A pill for soul ache, from The Idiot's Prayers

... most appropriate. From a bedside commodity book in Hotel Room, called "The Book of Prayer" which exhorts all occupants of the room to pray to the Almighty in different languages and styles. An entity and a belief which explains everything from why fuel prices are going up to why there are traffic jams in Bangalore.
In Delhi last week, the cab driver gave me book of "Prajapita Brahmakumari", and told me that the world is going to come to end in 2012, so I better be prepared and start saving my soul right now. I also read that according to Mayan Civilization calculations it is indeed end of the world or closer. And of course several religious predictions and other reasons of "world coming to en end" are around. While so many doomsday predictions are going around, all I have to say, is The God (if exists) has sent me in this world with Packed Bags, I had fun and I am ready for next journey :-)

Generator Town

Every time I visit Gurgaon I get a feeling that I am leaving in a b-grade sci-fi movie. An isolated town where people generate their own electricity, live in sky scrapers, cruise using space rockets (uncannily looking like Safaris, and Innovas) and where oxygen is sparse and muncipalities charge citizens for breathing it.

Otherwise touted as "The Millenium City" was a small farming town on the periphery of Delhi. During the late 90's real estate boom, Haryana Urban Development bought tracks of agricultural lands and developed into what is toda'y 6th largest city in India with population of 22Lacs (2001). I recall the days in 1992 where I was one of the several visiting business folks to Delhi, Gurgaon used to have lush green farms and was popular for farm house investments. Today Gurgaon is city of malls. It is almost like a city inside the malls. There are malls of all types, Indian, "Phoren" and malls that offer everything for the "middle class". The construction boom in Gurgaon is still at its height. New sky scrapers are being built for new companies to come in. Most of the glass building (read criminal copying of western architecture in electricity starved country!), shine in the afternoon Sun glare.

It is difficult to see beyond 100 meteres due to smog during any time of the day. Haryana state did make Jat farmers rich by buying their land but failed to provide basic amneties like electricity. Every building runs its own generator. There are power cuts of 12 hours in the town, sky scrapers of 18 floors can't survive without having private generation of electricity. The flat owners pay upto Rs. 10000/- per month for private electricity. The current short fall is 500 Mw per day! The diesel consumption for electricity generation in Gurgaon is more than consumption for vehicles. Every shop worth its salt has a generator out on the street. A continuous hum of generators greets you in the market place or in shops. The smoke generates very high density of smog which obstructs the view even from the tallest building in the town.

The lush green fields have now become construction places, the tractors of Jat farmers have now been replaced by big cars which they drive at the speed of sound, the farm houses have been replaced with sky scrapers and clear sky with diesel smoke.

A small vilalge of Guru Dronacharya in Hindu Mythology has now become a Generator Town, complete with its own 'country made' smog !

Theme Park Horror

Vacation time !! After one year, I had a week long vacation in the classical theme park nightmare of USA. Yes the same one, Disneyland. While my son enjoyed it to the tee and my wife still has lost her brain on one of those upside down roller coasters, it is going to be a vacation to remember.
I never thought first hand interaction with harmless characters like Mickey Mouse could be so devastating. After first two days of Disneyland I started getting dirty dreams about cartoon characters. I almost decided to spend more time with Jenna Jameson in hotel room for adult only entertainment. Trust me, a visit to Disneyland could actually get you addicted to cheesy HBO movies in hotel room.
The capitalism in land of plenitude is blatant and some times terrifying. Every theme park we went to had shows which had exits in the shop. The general idea being as you exist watching Buzz Lightyear show, you would want to buy a plastic image of him. A compelling set of consumers a.k.a Children, and lot of "Made in China" cheap plastic toys ensure that you have to buy one more bag on your return journey. This disease is spread throughout the theme park world as we know it. The Universal was same and so was the Kennedy Space Center. I would imagine some of these theme parks may actually would have their sustenance dependent on this kind of tourist business.

After 5 days of visiting everybody from Mickey Mouse to Shamu the killer whale, I no longer have a desire to be entertained. I have stopped watching TV, I barely read the newspaper, I did not linger on Jenna Jameson's official website. I think I am almost close to becoming a workaholic person again.

In all fairness, I could still live with horror dreams about work place (what's worse that could happen? printer eating people?) than nightmares about theme parks (yes, imagine Mickey Mouse eating tourists sitting on one of those crazy roller coasters... Arghhhhhhhhhh!)

Small Luxuries

Recently I got promoted on my frequent flyer program of an airlines. In little ironic but interesting grading system, I am now a Platinum member of this program. An inevitable thing if you travel too much. I have been round this bend before, over period of my short life I have been, 'Gold' and 'Platinum' Member of Airline programs, 'Diamond' member of hotel priority club, carried my 'Golden Passport' (which is really a plastic card of golden color), 'Senator' member or 'Silver Crest' club member of international airlines, 'Gold' member of car renting companies and so on. I think I am kind of gullible person who actually falls for this kind of harmless marketing.

Many of these program do not offer anything tangible; an airline frequent flyer gets more free passages to exotic destinations in adverts but in reality to achieve that status you have to fly to US and back to India every other day of your life. Some time back an European airline offered me free stay and a redemption gift ('flash light that works as a radio' - in case the flight crashes and I get marooned on a remote island - yeah right!). Airline frequent flyer status has some practical advantages, such as easy access to the lounges - which are primarily created to show the gaps in rich and poor in extremely capitalist airports. The prolonged stays at hotels gets you a preferential room and some times a fluffy teddy bear with name of the hotel on it. Couple of times I tried to pass these gifts to others, but the brand labels always get you.

For a long time I did not actually bought into this loyalty programs, but then my yet-to-be-wife at the time, reminded me of intangible benefits of these things - i.e. walking into priority check-in lane, or getting bigger rooms at hotel, and I was kind of hooked. Over next several years, I practically signed for any program of any commercial merchandiser that was on offer. Now I am loyalty club member of couple of grocery shops in US, bookshops in Frankfurt and India, at least 5 airlines, 4 different hotel chains and a Chinese eatery at Singapore airport. Similarly my wife has loyalty cards for several malls in the city and outside.

I particularly like the respect which these companies treat their loyal customers. It does not translate into anything significant but the operators at check-in counters are more friendly than necessary, some times they make an attempt at remembering your choices, provide a tiny bit of preference over other customers. These things are gratifying enough for generally downtrodden people like me. Few days ago I was flying on domestic sector and just before take-off, the air hostess came to me and gave me ear plugs, I thanked her and asked how come I get this favor; she informed me that 'they' knew the preferences of frequent flyers... cool! In Europe, I checked in earlier than the arrival time and front desk was apologetic that they could not get a bigger room for regular customer like me - in ordinary circumstances hotels would not even allow you to check-in before the time. When I achieved my first 'Platinum' status, getting free breakfast at the hotel was an attraction, then the rooms at top floors.

Separate check-in queues, people trying to remember your preferences, easier upgrades, these are indeed insignificant things and only pathetic people like me actually go for it - but then what is life without small luxuries?

The Laws that Actually Govern the Universe

After my operation in 2006, I got hooked onto Roger Penrose’s The Road To Reality, a book about generally neglected subject of Mathematics. This book is not for invalids or people with weak hearts, at 1049 pages (the bibliography is of 30 odd pages), it takes lot of patience to get through the book. Of course, in my case I had nothing important to do in those days, so it was easy way to forget other body pains.

Once in my school career I actually failed in Mathematics, and for rest of my life, it seems, the subject would puzzle me – and some times amuse. Simple mathematical notions like equivalence class (deals with fractions for the uninitiated) which govern the elementary maths are indeed never explained in school. I recently started explaining some basic concepts to my son around maths - and miserably failed.

I was surprised by the fact that the notion of Mathematical truth (Platonic or otherwise) is not even explained in the schools and colleges. It takes Rs. 810/- and really bulky book to read and understand it. I also realized that several things about maths were not known to me in this age and times. Usually complex sounding concepts like, Canonical quantum gravity, well.. are indeed complex, but make good reading. Especially when it comes to some Indian names (e.g. Abhay Ashtekar in 1986, simplified the equations of general relativity - yes from famous Einstein). While Penrose tries hard to explain the beauty of the mathematics, I think the book is more important for a casual reader to understand the subject of maths. Of course there is quite a bit of Physics in the book (Penrose is a Physicist), and that makes 1049 pages more interesting.

Another book I recently acquired is Stephen Hawking's God Created the Integers - a book describing the history of the mathematics (1160 pages - another example of my courage). The book does not necessarily has lucid description of mathematical concepts, but indeed brings out the fun in the lives of Greek mathematicians. e.g. Archimedes's servants got him against his will to the baths OR that when Diophantus died his friend left a puzzle describing his lifetime. Certain historical facts like Laplace was the teacher of certain Corsican called Napoleon Bonaparte, make the book interesting read (it also proves the fact that studying of maths with great mathematicians is not necessarily a good thing - something that may set you on a wrong path of geography and you spend your retirement in rather protected environment)

These books do not particularly make me maths genius but it certainly helps in knowing that several mathematicians and physicists with their lifetime of research and bulky books and noble prizes haven't been able to find the road to reality OR laws that actually govern the universe - just like me. And I do that without lot of effort or tussled hair.

Without Clothes in Brussels

If one has to loose the clothes, Brussels is probably the last place on earth where that should happen. The EU capital is so expensive, it alone should be good reason for dismantling the united Europe.

As usual my travails (!) took me to the EU capital, twice in less than a month. A record for myself. My wife jokes that I have a lady per port like sailors (I wish…), I am seriously thinking of an European affair in any case. The Jet airways put my luggage on priority and the bags never left Delhi. Mind you this is our ‘Best Domestic Airline' with direct connection to Europe and America – I personally like the direct NY and Brussels connectivity and really bad air hostesses.

I generally plan follow-on meetings, as in you land, get refreshed and walk in the office, saves time and you can excuse your inactivity to long distance air travel. More rest follows. This time I landed, I am in a great mood of walking through and I am thinking of work. The luggage belt does not yield anything for 30 long minutes. I got suspicious, and the suspicions were true. Luggage is not there. Belgium at this time of the year hovers around 7-8 degrees C. Unless you have real warm clothes you shouldn’t be thinking about it. Somebody like me who loves Sun (and gets super powers from it), is not a right person in this place without the right clothes. The paltry first compensation helps me in buying a good toothbrush and that is about it.

I reached hotel and for the first time in my life went to the shopping mall at 9AM sharp. Fortunately the hotel is in the Brussels city center so it is easier to walk into the shopping mall. What followed was an emergency shopping by a non-French/non-Dutch speaker in a crowd of sales people who can not speak a single word of English. The prices really did me in. A pair of undergarments was 29 Euros (that is Rs. 1700.38 for the uninitiated) - almost equivalent to annual income of some families in India. A tie was 49 Euros and to top it the sale-lady can not speak English and translate the sizes. This is unique in a country which is officially bilingual (Dutch and French; when you see one street having two names - life is not easy). I was at my wit's end - literally. One would think buying clothes in stereotypical box department store anywhere in the world should be easy.. well one has to try this theory.

My colleagues at work (almost) commented on clothes choices but they had no option to lump it - the cheap shirt I bought had a black rose on the side !!! Besides the amount of time I spent on this was not well spent either (after 313 Euros that is!).

Otherwise a city of no particular significance (started in 10th Century as a Fortress Town), Brussels grew to prominence only after EU was established. The most notable attraction is 'Manneken Pis' (or Pissing Boy) - rest I guess you can figure out. The only other attractions are tourist shops in shacks that have sprung up around the main city square (and at the cost of repeating - expensive departmental stores). The chocolates were overrated anyways, i.e. my son did not like them - he is our family's official expert on chocolates.

For me French girls were nowhere to be found - almost a rare species. Every time I looked for proper Belgian affair it did not materialize. Perhaps I should try Paris next time - now that would be an idea - to get into Paris without the clothes, presumably French won't mind that much. Only problem being Jet Airways does not fly to Paris (yet!)

This is Your Captain Speaking...

Increase in air travelers in India has brought in a new breed of pilots (or in aviation-speak Captain of the Craft). There are Indian pilots, there are foreign pilots, jr. pilots and retired (and brought back from grave) pilots. Encouragingly there are more female pilots too.

In air travel the part I like most is the Captain announcements.
"This is your Captain speaking, we are cruising at 30000 feet; There is slight damage on left engine and we are probably going to have a mid-air drop of 10000 feet; Nothing wrong really, but you might experience some dizziness and perhaps a delay of few days", the undertone of these announcements is so engaging. They always announce it in monotonous sound and appear almost Supermen or Superwomen. Nothing detracts them except maybe the not-so-good-looking air-hostess or steward. It gives a sense of reassurance to travelers, regardless of the bumpy ride - and equally bad food.

Unfortunately the increasing number of female captains don't seem to carry the same flair. They are more like, "This is your Captain speaking.. and arghhh looks like we are having company - get ready for mid-air collision people - and where is my bag"

Call me misogynist, but seems the aviation schools need to do a better job in educating their female students on intoning the announcements. Something more in the line men of steel - now that is an idea - all pilots wearing their underpants outside and not getting distracted with fire on left wing.

Improve My Life !

While talking to a colleague in Brussels this week, she said she wants to "improve her life", what she really meant was she wants to improve her work-life balance - apparently her Dutch did not translate correctly in English. I tried to find that out of course (I am not the one who trusts on first impressions either !), I asked her, did she mean she wants to change her identity and run away to Canada or perhaps find a new partner (bling! opportunity!!) - no she did not mean neither. She meant her well deserved holiday should not be jeopardized with our commitments on her time. Of course we did not listen to her, I bought her some Leffe and explained to her the importance of work and life (yes that pithy four letter word reserved for magazine writers!)

Everybody talks about it work-life balance and if one asks people to define it - they would generally end up giving you a book to read - but can not define themselves. It is such a vague concept. It does not tell you if you should have more fun or do more work. And what if people enjoy the work that they do? Should they be working more to achieve work-life balance or less? We keep complaining that work is bad - I think that is primarily an urban thing. I don't seem people outside cities complaining about their work - or maybe it is just me. I think the civilization as it stands today has made life more comfortable and that includes millions of people doing work. Imagine you take a vacation at the same time hotel staff is on vacation, how the hell you are going to enjoy the vacation? You want to go on a picnic to improve your life and the petrol pumps go on holiday too! So if one part of the society has to enjoy life the other part still has to do the work. Is that what is work-life balance is all about? I am sure it improves the life of several million people at one go!

Friends in Small World

I was in Europe couple of weeks ago. While in London I met with quite a few friends. Friends with whom I spent most of my youth. It was an interesting experience, we would fight for or cup of tea in most cheap places in Pune and there we were drinking Starbucks on Kensington high street, like couple of snobs (I even used cab in London – I am really getting indulgent). People who could not have afforded a bottle of beer between them were drinking lager in posh London lounge! Of course we have come long way from cheap (er.. economical more like) college students to some kind of office workers. So we make some money and spend it; however we did not plan this future. A friend of mine is now Queen's subject, another one is a development executive (and a pitiful bore at that!), third one runs a company. In big scheme of things these are not small achievements. Everybody has worked hard for this. However the bond that connects has remained same. It was great fun to recall old days and talk shop.

One good thing about meeting close friends is that you don’t have to be socially polite or have inhibitions. I can be very frank, I can tell them what happens to me or my work, I don’t have to underplay it. I don’t have to gloss over the difficult subjects. I feel very relaxed in their company. This is a typical challenge I face nowadays, I can not share what I really feel to many of my office colleagues or people otherwise I meet around the world. Most of the times they are business contacts with vested interests and very few actually qualify to become good friends.

We talked about our lives and realized that the world has really become small (my mother argues that we have grown big – but then she has been commenting on my weight for a while now). We could meet as easily as we would meet in Mumbai or Pune. The travel times have come down and travel convenience has increased (still Asiad buses in India of 80’s and 90’s were better than modern day business classes of most of the airlines). Most of my friends shuttle between US, UK, India, AP and it is such a common thing. All NRI’s have their relatives distributed around the world and it makes traveling continents a necessity than novelty. The dreaded visa and other regulations are dissolving rapidly – for example one can get visa for bulk of countries in Europe at one go. This is convenience. Eventually passports and visas would become biometric so we don’t have to carry these pieces of paper around us. The world as we know it is becoming much smaller.

In my college days, I recall we used to talk about how people feel going around the world. One of our friend was in merchant navy and we had quite a bit interest in his life as he goes around the world. After a while when we all started visiting different parts of the world, the novelty kind of wore off. In our office-speak it is more important to remain connected than where we are physically. My phone keeps ringing even at odd times – in global village and 24/7 work environments, people on wrong side of time will always suffer. And I think we are getting used to this lifestyle – even to the extent that the word ‘globe trotter’ has become a bad word in social circles. People speak of going to international shopping places for Diwali. My wife likes to do shopping in Singapore or Dubai (haven’t taken her to either places since I learnt that – if she spends her money on shopping binge that is her problem; nobody is buying Prada handbags on my money – ever!). Airline delays become national news. In my childhood, when my brother first traveled on airplane from Aurangabad to Mumbai, it was a celebration moment – now my nephew complains of headache in direct flights between Mumbai and Atlanta.

I don’t know is it simply because of convenience of travel or because we are becoming more dependent on things around us. The Soya requirement of China is causing depletion of Amazon jungles, gold consumption in India has caused challenges on London exchange. Open trade and bigger businesses are causing the world to shrink to the point that everybody feels connected with each other – no matter where they are. I think that would be the greatest achievement of our times in 20^th and 21^st century – returning to a small world – where we started a million years ago!

Keep Safe Distance

How close you can be to other people? This is a perpetually troubling question to me. I am an asocial person (or in plain English a complete jerk). I do not have social skills to interact with others.  When people come and visit me at my home I have no clue what to talk to them. When I go and meet people (which happens rarely), I do not know what to speak to them. I have very few friends, something that I can count on one hand fingers, even with them I am not in touch for a long time. My wife tells me that I should be more active listener in order to be more socially conscious. My brother advised me to take interest in others lives. I find that simply boring, I realize this appears almost selfish but it is not. I mean I am not that interested in my life too! (perhaps it is too short for my taste :-)). 

I realized this inability (of being asocial) very early in my life. In school I would befriend with only those people who would follow me or listen to me. Thus I had very small group of friends. They are very loyal but I did not follow-up with them in my later life. It continued in the college life. Although I think we had a good group in the college. 

The experience of socializing with opposite sex has always been a disaster, first the girls that would befriend me would be either little light in the head or primarily interested in getting some work done out of me. There were some exceptions who had crush or too many hormones  (in either case that would still count as category of light-in-head). The fact is even at this age, I do not have a friend of opposite sex other than my wife. 

My social circle is too small, and I think I am primarily responsible for it. I can never figure out how to develop the social relationship. If I remain too distant and meet occasionally then I think I am not being nice. If I am too close, I almost feel as if the other person is getting uncomfortable with my kind of closeness – and frankly I am uncomfortable in close relationships too! It almost feels like invasion of privacy – when all people are asking is what you had for dinner.  I think there is some unwritten social rule about how close you can get to people, just like on the road, if you can not see the rear wheels of the car in front, maybe you are just too close. On the other hand if you can not read the number of the car, may be you are too far off.

It is same thing in social life, if you don't remember the name of an acquaintance then you are far off, you are discussing deoderants and coffee habits you are practically tailgating!

The Modest Country

In my knowledge, I think Scandinavian countries are the only countries in the world which are most modest. I recently finished my trip to Denmark (my childhood dream of running between mountains of cheese finally fulfilled!). The city of Copenhagen is a typical old European city with old castles and courthouses mixed with latest sky scrapers. The socialist democratic dogma is still attached to the dealings of the people. The cycle riders are many and far more fearsome than New York taxi drivers. This is summer so everybody was riding cycles, to my untrained Indian eyes, an office worker wearing suit jacket and tie and riding on bicycle was a new sight.

However what gets you most in Denmark is the modesty. The most famous Danish beer, Carlsberg is advertised as "Probably the best beer in the world" - I kid not, one can observe this on their, appropriately titled, "Probably the best website in the world". People are by and large very modest, even with per capita GDP of $46K, they still describe prices of house in matter of fact tone. Several families adopt children from Africa and Asia. Charities have been a way of living for people and most of the times it is not considered as favor to poor countries. My mind was comparing this "give" attitude with "take" attitude in my country and the contrast hit me very hard. The owning of most expensive cars is still considered a social taboo, even if it is affordable - as in person showing off things - not really acceptable in this country. The rich people do not want to show off at all, the poor people don't want to describe the poverty (hey but there are no poor people!). The economic achievements are described in simple tones, as if it was the most natural thing for a small country with hostile weather in northern seas to be the most advanced economic power.

In Denmark, either as part of the culture or simply by habit, the achievements are down played. The historical achievements are rarely mentioned, not many people describe Niels Bohr as national hero (but physicists rarely get that honor, Nobel prize winner or not). You have to actually read the Wikipedia entry to know the top industries (I mean other than Lego) in Denmark. No lavish advertisements, no history in making arguments or we-made-the world go round arguments. Simple facts, stated in such an undertone, that make you think about veracity of the claims. But then it is all true, Danes, were the big viking navigators that actually established sea routes. One of the largest merchant shipping company in the world, Maersk is Danish. Danish hospitality and open arms when it comes to charities is well known. It was also the first country to legalize the pornography. Even the advances are stated in undertone. A casual listener might feel that this country needs lot of help. In fact it is almost reverse.

Scandinavian countries outdo each other in generosity and cultural achievements, but Denmark is probably the most advanced and possibly more modest.

What do you do?

I met my old friend from school days at office today, and she asked me the most dreaded question, "What do you do other than your job?" and I fumbled (yes actually!).

I thought I had this part figured out. I thought I had a great work-life balance, but when she asked this point-blank, I really had no answer. I told her about my parenting (not very good at it -I admit), attempts at outdoor sports and she was visibly unimpressed.

This was really difficult question to answer. No matter what you do, if you can not answer this question, you are practically doomed. It means you have no life outside your job, it also means that you are really asocial person and do not meet people outside your office acquaintances (I remember an old joke - "are you asocial or do you just enjoy living in the Antarctic?"). It also means you have no hobbies and/or life (literally!).

It also reflects on the choices you have made with your life. It almost appeared as if my choice was to work for a large corporation with no identity. I tried to think hard, what was that thing that kept me running, and I realized it was all about being engaged in some creative activity. I did not start my job as a mechanism to make money. I started it as a creative gig that could also give me some money. The general idea was I could do lot many things outside the job such as painting, research, writing, reading, trekking (if health permits).

Today, I do not do any painting, my research is limited to finding new ways to teach mathematics to my son, writing does not go beyond blogs, reading is limited to newspaper and trekking - I do not do at all. I recall once upon a time I dreamed of trekking Annapurna mountains. The closest I have been was the base camp and recently to a lodge with the view of Kanchanjunga in Sikkim. The last time I held a painting brush was 3 weeks ago to clean my headset.

This was very depressing thought. I realized in the haste of living life, I actually had forgotten what it meant. Without getting too philosophical, I think somewhere in between I lost the part of life which was beyond the 9am-9pm job. It is almost time to find out what the world looks like outside the walls of the prison.. er the office. I am going to start looking for that world. After all I don't have much time.

One of the first things I would do is to go and thank my friend for opening my eyes. The only problem is, I will have to go to office for that.

Depression House

Hospitals are very depressing places. They claim to be happy places which care for people but in reality they are great big machines creating depression all around. It is difficult for them to grasp the concept that people can be happy even if they are sick. I have a terminal sickness, so I know what the end result is, however nurses still try to patronize me, junior doctors give me assurances that it will be all right. It is almost like rubbing salt. I have several scans to go through, so I go to hospitals alone (as it is they are boring places, why make others suffer?). So comes the first question,
"who is the patient?"
"me.. all of me!" (my sarcasm does not leave me, I should get rid of it some time!)
"who is with you?"
"me", by this time staff is thinking I am in a wrong hospital..

If there are people with me then they keep hampering them to leave the 'patient' alone. As if it is not important for others even to be at that place. Right.. only patients get the right to be depressed.

I am at nuclear scan and I am joking about the warm glow of radiation within as an example of pure soul. The young doctor takes it as a spiritual comment. She goes on explaining to me about death and life. I have observed it before, medical curicula should contain some sense of humour built in. Another patient with similar ailment is an old woman. She is worried about pains of radiation therapy (there are none!) and word 'cancer' has unsettled her, so I am joking with her. The lab assistant does not like it;
"Don't talk in the lab, you are a patient, be depressed; I should know, this is depression house and I work here"
He may not have said it exactly like this, but he sure meant it !

A Day Lost is a Day Gained

Back on traveling days, my wide (ok wife, little slip of tongue there... but she never reads my blog anyway) claims that I have certain liking for travel. I suspect that might be true. I was thinking about this while entering the Los Angeles International airport, and the smell of airport lounges and stale restaurants hit me really hard. The suspicion was not true after all. I hate the international travel. Crossing five continents in 3 months is bad, flying in aluminum jets is worse. With international travel come the unique problems that Columbus never faced. For example, the international date line. I am starting my homeward journey now from LA on 19th April and by the time I reach Singapore it would be early hours of 21st April. It is as if the 20th April never existed in my life. There are 24 hours in my life which would forever go unaccounted for. Would that make me younger than rest of the world? Rest of the world would be enjoying the Friday of 20th April, having meetings, dinner dates, fighting with their wives, but not me. I would never have this day in my life. When 5yrs down the line I am on my deathbed and accounting for all the good or bad things I did in my life, this one day I can never account for. Somebody would ask me, what were you doing on 20th April 2007, and my answer would be "what is 20th April 2007?", I don't even know if that day is applicable to me.
This opens up several opportunities, e.g. I could have set up all my meetings on 20th April and people would call me for attending, and could never get me. As if I am in hyperspace transitioning from one dimension to other. A complete blackout... few seconds in my life would mean 24 hours for the earthlings. Wow, I am really onto something here. The biggest possible scam of the life. I would doing this feat again in May when I travel to San Diego for another conference. As it is I have lot of less time in my life, this crossing date lines in reverse direction is costing me several more hours.

I wonder some times how much time I might have spent in travel. It could be some thing that I should be able to reuse, you know, like reclaiming the life spent in sitting in the airplanes. It would be fun that way, like, give me back my 20hrs wasted at Tokyo, due to canceled flight. I think I could make at least a year this way.

Traveling is always tiresome activity. No matter how glamorous it may appear. Sitting in one seat for 20hrs is no joke, neither is getting too many unsolicited requests of help from unattended old ladies (one even used my phone to call somebody... I am feeling terrible about it now!). I think it is my face, I look like a person who is gullible enough to be fleeced. Even the beggars become very forceful when they are talking to me. All over the world I get mugged, cheated, fleeced for money. I think like interpol, the anti-social elements world over must be having record of world travelers, and I must be ranking pretty high in the category of 'easy-to-rob'. The cab drivers always ask me for tip, while several others get away without. The check-in lady is always very arrogant with me. The airport helpers always show me the 'tips please' board, and probably are always remarking on my back. Invariably I end up spending more money than I can afford to. Just the bad luck I guess (or gullible face) whichever way you look at it, it is a personal characteristics that affects me a great deal. And I am saying nothing about all those days I am loosing simply because of the rotation of earth.